A Reason to Struggle
TL;DR
Struggle is essential for growth. Whatever you are struggling with right now has the potential to give you back enormous strength and beauty if you are willing to stay the course.
What’s something you are struggling with right now?
For me, I’m sleep training my 3 year-old this week. Do they give medals out for this?
It’s never easy to watch someone we love struggling. Especially our children.
Even though we went through it with Zoe 7 years ago, I forgot how challenging it is to have to hold my boundary for hours on end with a very unhappy toddler (to put it mildly). At one point, Lucy flat out said to me “Mama this is HARD. I’m angry and I don’t like it! I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Part of me just wanted to fold and love on her and take the easy way out to just get this child to sleep. And if I ended up doing that it would have been just fine.
But my higher self was already too invested.
I had to dig deep to stay tuned into her, but when I did it was clear — holding this boundary IS me loving her. She will fall asleep on her own. She will get there.
And I swear, the next thing out of her mouth was, “Mama, Ali (her preschool teacher) says I can do it. I will be brave.” To which I say, “Oh sweetheart, we all believe you can do this and yes, you are very brave.”
It took another half hour, but eventually she fell asleep all by herself.
The longer I parent the more I get that this is one of THE most important things I can do as a mom — stop trying to shoulder their burden or heal their pain for them, but instead, hold the space for them to experience the struggle so they can find their way through. This is what builds resilience (SELF-TRUST).
So...what’s something you are struggling with right now?
And what would you do differently if you accepted this struggle as a natural part of your growth process?
Whatever you are going through right now has the potential to give you back enormous strength and beauty if you are willing to stay the course.
As I was sitting there in the dark bedroom, I remembered this story about the lesson of the butterfly that I had come across years ago on Paul Coelho’s blog.
“Be the cocoon, be the cocoon, we will both be butterflies soon” became my impromptu mantra on repeat — for over an hour.
Perhaps your struggle is just like that of the caterpillar transforming into the butterfly — an essential part of development to grow into the next form.
The next time you see a butterfly, look closely at its incredible wings and remember how it had to struggle to get them.
I’ll do it, too.
Have a great week,
B